Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Balotelli made to work for Manchester City stay

Mario Balotelli frustrated many in Manchester City's derby defeat against arch rivals Manchester United on Sunday afternoon.

The Italian striker has just the rest of December to prove himself to chiefs at the Etihad Stadium, with AC Milan waiting in the wings to swoop for him if he cannot impress.

Roberto Mancini has regularly stood by his compatriot, but is he now facing a losing battle to help the 22-year-old become one of the game's most feared strikers?

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Invisible man Samir Nasri's hole in the wall costs Manchester City the derby

Manchester City's unbeaten start to the Premier League season came crashing to an end with a 3-2 home defeat at the hands of arch rivals Manchester United on Sunday afternoon.

The champions looked to have hauled themselves back into the game at 2-2, having initially trailed following Wayne Rooney's first-half double, before Robin van Persie's free-kick took a killer deflection off Samir Nasri in the City wall and slipped beyond the reach of Joe Hart into the back of the net.

Manager Roberto Mancini was far from happy, stating: "We made a mistake and only put three players there. Actually we had only had two-and-a-half players there."

Sunday, December 9, 2012

Sir Alex, Mancini & Platt star in Mancbeth

By George Ankers

ACT I, SCENE I. A mysterious heath.

Thunder and lightning. A sofa. A familiar theme tune. Enter three witches.

ALAN, THE FIRST WITCH: When shall we three meet again? In thunder, lightning or in rain?

GARY, THE SECOND WITCH: It'll be next Saturday at 22.35GMT, Alan, same as usual. You're contractually obliged.

ALAN, THE THIRD WITCH: A drum, a drum! Mancbini doth come. He's come right up to us and he'll be happy with that.

Enter Roberto Mancbini and his loyal friend, Plattquo.

MANCBINI: So foul and fair a day I have not seen. Not since Lady Macbalo set off a firework in the dressing room, anyway...

PLATTQUO: Yes, boss. (GASPS.) What are these, so wither'd and so bland in their attire, that speak not like inhabitants o' the television and yet are on't?

MANCBINI: Speak, if you can: What are you?

SECOND WITCH: Hail, Mancbini! Hail to thee, Thane of Premis!

FIRST WITCH: Hail. Pace. Power. Commitment.

THIRD WITCH: Hail, Mancbini, thou shalt be king in Manchester hereafter! I can't see anyone beating you on this form.

PLATTQUO: Of what do you speak, ladies?

SECOND WITCH: Mancbini, thou hast glory'd thyself in bloody battle. Brave Mancbini, for well thee deserveth the name, thou hast led thy men to victory of six to one at thy enemy's castle.

THIRD WITCH: Thou couldst say that the key was how you scored more goals then they did.

SECOND WITCH: Yet now Ferguson, King of Manchester, bringeth his host to thy gates. Forsooth, the hour of thy crowning is come.

MANCBINI: No, no ... Ferguson, he is the King. The fates favour them.

FIRST WITCH: The King relieth too greatly on his young sons and retainers. Thou shalt not be victorious with babes.

MANCBINI: No. For us it is too difficult, I think.

THIRD WITCH: Etihad Castle is a hard place to go and get a result. I can't look past you.

MANCBINI: We have no chance.

PLATTQUO: Ladies, thine efforts are for naught. I hath cajol'd the boss for hours. He is stubborn.

SECOND WITCH: Brave Mancbini, witness our spell and be convinced.

The CAULDRON comes alight.

SECOND WITCH: Double, double, toil and trouble.

FIRST WITCH: Pace, power, leadership and commitment.

THIRD WITCH: Er ... suppose you've some kind of small amphibian. It's like a lizard, I guess, but ... not. I haven't really looked it up, to be honest. And there's this sort of circular ball in its face that it uses to see things...

The CAULDRON bubbles furiously, billowing smoke into the night sky.

SECOND WITCH: What dost thou see, brave Mancbini?

MANCBINI: Mine own visage in the smoke! Wherefore dost thou show me this?

FIRST WITCH: Look on.

MANCBINI: On mine head ... the crown of Manchester's King! It is taken from Ferguson to me! How canst this be? They art above us in the statisticians' reckonings.

SECOND WITCH: Forsooth, he shall not linger much longer over his domain.

MANCBINI: I must needs kill the King?

SECOND WITCH: Ay! Speaketh not in terms so literal. Don't go giving Lady Macbalo any ideas.

FIRST WITCH: Thy midfield is miles ahead, that's all.

The Witches vanish. MANISH, THE FOURTH WITCH tries to jump out from behind a tree with a Tupperware cauldron and CLARIDGE, THE BLACK CAT perched on his shoulder but MANCBINI and PLATTQUO exeunt with haste.

MANCBINI: King of Manchester! This I like...

Friday, December 7, 2012

Drogba brings the bling as Chelsea embark on Europa outing

Chelsea's Champions League defence may have already ended, but for those who succeeded in the competition last season, there are still some benefits to be reaped from their victory over Bayern Munich.

Club legend Didier Drogba, who left Stamford Bridge last summer for Shanghai Shenhua, made sure his team-mates would never forget that night in Munich back in May by bestowing specially made rings upon all those involved in the triumph.

However, for Rafa Benitez, it is just a stark reminder of the club's failings in this year's tournament, and the Europa League campaign that awaits...

'Worth the Mona Lisa' - Raiola paints pretty Balotelli picture

He may have yet to reach his potential at Manchester City, but Mario Balotelli continues to be linked with Europe's top sides, with Milan firming up their interest in the 22-year-old.

Rossoneri boss Massimiliano Allegri hinted at a January move for the striker on Tuesday, hailing the Italy international's "extraordinary physical and technical qualities".

However, the player's agent, Mino Raiola, has reiterated that Balotelli will not be leaving the Etihad Stadium, before insisting his client would cost "as much as the Mona Lisa"...

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Manchester City's European hopes go up in smoke again

Having already crashed out of the Champions League, Tuesday's 1-0 defeat to Borussia Dortmund capped another dismal campaign for Manchester City in Europe.

The loss at Signal Iduna Park resulted in Roberto Mancini's side finishing bottom of Group D, and in turn saw them miss out on the consolation prize of Europa League football.

Now, with only domestic matters to concern them for the remainder of the season, the Premier League champions can forget about a continental adventure for another year...

Mourinho ignores Manchester to stay at Madrid…for now

While relations have become strained between Real Madrid and manager Jose Mourinho in recent weeks, the Portuguese boss insisted on Monday that he has no intention of leaving Santiago Bernabeu at the end of the season.

Despite Saturday's 3-0 win over Atletico Madrid, Los Blancos still trail their city rivals by five points, with Barcelona maintaing their 11 point lead at the top of La Liga.

However, with Manchester United boss Sir Alex Ferguson recently touting 'the Special One' to replace him at Old Trafford, and Manchester City long-term admirers of the 49-year-old, it may Mourinho who chooses to ditch Real next summer...