Manchester City the Christmas turkeys

 

After Manchester United opened up an seven point gap at the top of the league on Boxing Day over rivals Manchester City, manager Sir Alex Ferguson looks as if he's having the last festive laugh of the year.

With the reigning champions slumping to a 1-0 defeat away at Sunderland for the second season running courtesy of a Joe Hart howler, both Roberto Mancini and Carlos Tevez will be hopping mad at both the disappointing result and lacklustre performance.

Having been pipped to the league title last season, though, Ferguson, or Santa Claus in this case, will be wary of counting his turkey's before they come home to roost in their pursuit of the league crown this term. For fans of fowl gags, Christmas has come early.
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Ronaldo gets dream date with Sir Alex Ferguson as Real Madrid draw Manchester United

 

The draw for the last 16 of the Champions League has been made and thrown up some cracking ties, not least the pairing of Real Madrid and Manchester United.

Not only will the tie see Sir Alex Ferguson and Jose Mourinho clash once again, it will also mean a return to Old Trafford for Cristiano Ronaldo.

The Portuguese, who left the Theatre of Dreams in 2009 for a mere £80 million, has already revealed how much he enjoyed his time in Manchester working with Sir Alex and now Ronaldo will get the chance to meet up with his former boss once again.

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Sir Alex, Mancini & Platt star in Mancbeth

 

By George Ankers

ACT I, SCENE I. A mysterious heath.

Thunder and lightning. A sofa. A familiar theme tune. Enter three witches.

ALAN, THE FIRST WITCH: When shall we three meet again? In thunder, lightning or in rain?

GARY, THE SECOND WITCH: It'll be next Saturday at 22.35GMT, Alan, same as usual. You're contractually obliged.

ALAN, THE THIRD WITCH: A drum, a drum! Mancbini doth come. He's come right up to us and he'll be happy with that.

Enter Roberto Mancbini and his loyal friend, Plattquo.

MANCBINI: So foul and fair a day I have not seen. Not since Lady Macbalo set off a firework in the dressing room, anyway...

PLATTQUO: Yes, boss. (GASPS.) What are these, so wither'd and so bland in their attire, that speak not like inhabitants o' the television and yet are on't?

MANCBINI: Speak, if you can: What are you?

SECOND WITCH: Hail, Mancbini! Hail to thee, Thane of Premis!

FIRST WITCH: Hail. Pace. Power. Commitment.

THIRD WITCH: Hail, Mancbini, thou shalt be king in Manchester hereafter! I can't see anyone beating you on this form.

PLATTQUO: Of what do you speak, ladies?

SECOND WITCH: Mancbini, thou hast glory'd thyself in bloody battle. Brave Mancbini, for well thee deserveth the name, thou hast led thy men to victory of six to one at thy enemy's castle.

THIRD WITCH: Thou couldst say that the key was how you scored more goals then they did.

SECOND WITCH: Yet now Ferguson, King of Manchester, bringeth his host to thy gates. Forsooth, the hour of thy crowning is come.

MANCBINI: No, no ... Ferguson, he is the King. The fates favour them.

FIRST WITCH: The King relieth too greatly on his young sons and retainers. Thou shalt not be victorious with babes.

MANCBINI: No. For us it is too difficult, I think.

THIRD WITCH: Etihad Castle is a hard place to go and get a result. I can't look past you.

MANCBINI: We have no chance.

PLATTQUO: Ladies, thine efforts are for naught. I hath cajol'd the boss for hours. He is stubborn.

SECOND WITCH: Brave Mancbini, witness our spell and be convinced.

The CAULDRON comes alight.

SECOND WITCH: Double, double, toil and trouble.

FIRST WITCH: Pace, power, leadership and commitment.

THIRD WITCH: Er ... suppose you've some kind of small amphibian. It's like a lizard, I guess, but ... not. I haven't really looked it up, to be honest. And there's this sort of circular ball in its face that it uses to see things...

The CAULDRON bubbles furiously, billowing smoke into the night sky.

SECOND WITCH: What dost thou see, brave Mancbini?

MANCBINI: Mine own visage in the smoke! Wherefore dost thou show me this?

FIRST WITCH: Look on.

MANCBINI: On mine head ... the crown of Manchester's King! It is taken from Ferguson to me! How canst this be? They art above us in the statisticians' reckonings.

SECOND WITCH: Forsooth, he shall not linger much longer over his domain.

MANCBINI: I must needs kill the King?

SECOND WITCH: Ay! Speaketh not in terms so literal. Don't go giving Lady Macbalo any ideas.

FIRST WITCH: Thy midfield is miles ahead, that's all.

The Witches vanish. MANISH, THE FOURTH WITCH tries to jump out from behind a tree with a Tupperware cauldron and CLARIDGE, THE BLACK CAT perched on his shoulder but MANCBINI and PLATTQUO exeunt with haste.

MANCBINI: King of Manchester! This I like...
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Mourinho ignores Manchester to stay at Madrid…for now

 

While relations have become strained between Real Madrid and manager Jose Mourinho in recent weeks, the Portuguese boss insisted on Monday that he has no intention of leaving Santiago Bernabeu at the end of the season.

Despite Saturday's 3-0 win over Atletico Madrid, Los Blancos still trail their city rivals by five points, with Barcelona maintaing their 11 point lead at the top of La Liga.

However, with Manchester United boss Sir Alex Ferguson recently touting 'the Special One' to replace him at Old Trafford, and Manchester City long-term admirers of the 49-year-old, it may Mourinho who chooses to ditch Real next summer...

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Sir Alex immortalised in front of Manchester United legends past & present

 

After 26 barnstorming years at Manchester United, Sir Alex Ferguson was immortalised on Friday afternoon as a bronze statue of the Scot was unveiled at Old Trafford.

During the 70-year-old's reign at the club, United have scooped 12 Premier League titles, two Champions League trophies and FA Cups - a feat which is unlikely to be repeated by a single manager in England.

Around 2,500 supporters, the first-team squad and former United players including Eric Cantona, Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, Peter Schmeichel, Ruud van Nistelrooy and Bobby Charlton were all in attendance to mark Friday's unveiling.

"It's a proud moment," Ferguson told MUTV.

"Normally people die before people see their statue. I'm outliving death!"

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Bah Humbug - Ronaldo a 'Christmas wish' too far for Sir Alex Ferguson & Manchester United

 

He would be quite the stocking filler for Manchester United but even Sir Alex Ferguson admits the prospect of Cristiano Ronaldo returning to Old Trafford is just a "Christmas wish".

Last week, Sir Alex claimed the door is always open for the Portuguese international to make his return to United, although the 70-year-old conceded the forward would be "unbuyable" from Real Madrid.

With Roberto Di Matteo possibly bolstering his Chelsea ranks with the perfect festive gift in the form of Atletico Madrid ace Falcao, Sir Alex may have to poke around the January sales to find ways of improving his side.

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Vidic set for Russia exile as Fergie eyes the money

 

With Rio Ferdinand's shelf-life waning at 33 years of age, the last player Manchester United fans expected to see leave the club may well have been Nemanja Vidic.

The Serbia international is 30-years-old himself, however, and Goal.com exclusively revealed that the Red Devils could consider cashing in on a considerable offer from interested Russian club Anzhi Makhachkala.

The money spent by Zenit St. Petersburg on Hulk and Axel Witsel perhaps caught the eye of Ferguson, who could yet send Vidic the same way.

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Copy-cat Mourinho looks to emulate Sir Alex

 

At 49, Jose Mourinho is already part of the managerial furniture in world football but the Real Madrid boss insists he wants to emulate the coaching lifespan of Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson.

The 70-year-old is just over a month shy of his 26th year in charge at Old Trafford but Mourinho admits he is likely to continue his own career along the same path as the Scot.

"I understand perfectly why Alex is still in the job [at the age of 70] and I think I will be the same," Mourinho said.

"I love football so much, I love coaching so much. I will still be very young when I become 50 and I believe I have a lot in front of me.

"Fifty is a number with a certain impact - it's a number I believe sometimes has a psychologically negative impact on many people because they realise the world spins very, very fast and our lives are very, very short.

"It's a number that makes me think and look back but also look forward too. I'm such a happy person because what I have done so far I think is amazing."

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Shelvey red with rage at 'grass' Sir Alex

 

Clashes between Liverpool and Manchester United are always memorable games, but for Jonjo Shelvey, Sunday's meeting at Anfield was one to forget.

The 20-year-old was sent off for a challenge on centre-back Jonny Evans in the first half, and was furious with the role he believes Sir Alex Ferguson played in the dismissal.

"I apologise to the fans for getting sent off but no way was I pulling out of that tackle in a game of that importance. Im sorry," Shelvey posted on Twitter.

"I have also apologised to sir Alex, just where I come from people don't grass people up to get someone sent off."
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Sir Alex sweats as Kagawa & Van Persie limp back

 

With Wayne Rooney already sidelined with a gashed leg, the last result Sir Alex Ferguson will have wanted from the international break is more injuries to his collection of forwards.

He will not have been pleased, then, to see Robin van Persie and Shinji Kagawa limp off their flights back to Manchester. Van Persie was substituted at half-time in the Netherlands' match against Hungary, while Kagawa did not play for Japan against Iraq.

Sir Alex does, at least, have Javier Hernandez and Danny Welbeck to call upon as the Red Devils prepare to face Wigan Athletic.

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Rooney shocked at Ronaldo's admiration... for himself

 

Wayne Rooney has revealed in his latest autobiography that his former Manchester United team-mate and current Real Madrid maestro Cristiano Ronaldo loved the sight of his own reflection.

The 26-year-old striker stated: "In the time I've been playing with Ronnie, the one thing I've noticed about him is that he can’t walk past his reflection without admiring it, even if we're about to play a game of football.

"Every match, before the team goes out for the warm-up, he runs through the same routine. The kit goes on, the boots go on. Not long after, Ronnie turns to his reflection and stares, psyching himself up for the game."

While it may not have distracted him to the extent that he missed out on Sir Alex Ferguson's team talks, thankfully, Rooney has never had quite the same problem.
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Nani ready to face Sir Alex as he fights for Man Utd future

 

Nani has demanded showdown talks with Sir Alex Ferguson and Manchester United after doubts over future at Old Trafford have grown in recent weeks.
The winger, who has been targeted by Zenit St Petersburg, has fallen down the pecking order at Manchester United following increased competition in wide areas. The Portugal international also failed to make the squad for United's 3-2 victory over Fulham on Saturday.

Goal.com understands Nani has demanded a £5 million pay-off in order to leave Old Trafford before the end of the transfer window on Friday, while Sir Alex is considering the option to offload the 25-year-old.

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Fellaini foils Manchester United

 

All attention turned to Manchester United last night as Sir Alex Ferguson's side took on Everton in their first game of the new Premier League season.

New signing Shinji Kagawa started while Robin van Persie was on the bench and introduced in the second half, but neither could make a significant impact in their competitive debuts for the club.

Instead, the star of the show was Marouane Fellaini, who terrorised the Manchester United defence and scored the decisive goal in a surprise 1-0 victory for David Moyes' men.
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Van Persie & Modric break free at last to land their dream moves

 

Two of the longest-running transfer sagas of the transfer window look to set to reach their conclusion before Saturday's Premier League kick-off, with Arsenal and Tottenham both accepting bids for Robin van Persie and Luka Modric respectively.
The Spurs midfielder's move to Real Madrid has been touted since last summer, and the Croatian is believed to be jetting out to the Spanish capital on Thursday to complete his switch to Santiago Bernanbeu.

Yet Gunners fans will no doubt find their captain's departure harder to swallow, particularly with the Dutchman joining fierce rivals Manchester United...

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Allure of Paris prises Lucas from Sir Alex's grasp

 

Sir Alex Ferguson has been left amazed after Brazil starlet Lucas Moura opted to sign for Paris Saint-Germain rather than Manchester United.

The Red Devils had looked favorites to sign the 19-year-old and his agent has even claimed the club had an agreement with Lucas.

However, the player has ultimately opted to move to Paris not least because he considers it "a much more pleasant city than Manchester" leaving a fuming Sir Alex insisting "the game's gone mad".
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Usain Bolt eyes more world records with Manchester United trial

 

Not content with being the fastest man on the planet, Usain Bolt has set his sights on conquering football, starting with a trial at Manchester United.

The Jamaican 100m and 200m world record holder revealed earlier this week that he had been in touch with Rio Ferdinand on Twitter, with the experienced defender promising to arrange a try-out session for Bolt with Red Devils' boss Sir Alex Ferguson.

Ferdinand told the sprinter: "If you want that trial at Man Utd shout me, I'll speak to the boss!! Well done in 100m, waiting for you to smash the 200m now!"

United were just pipped at the line by neighbours Manchester City in a photo-finish conclusion to the Premier League season but with the pacy Bolt in their ranks, could United have enough to get out the blocks quicker and secure glory? 

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Sir Alex keeps fishing for summer capture

 

Manchester United have been reasonably busy so far this summer, having signed Shinji Kagawa from Borussia Dortmund and Nick Powell, the young Crewe academy product.

But Sir Alex Ferguson appears to be far from finished in the transfer market, after claiming interest in Robin van Persie this week, and speaking openly about an approach for Brazilian sensation Lucas Moura.

However, Van Persie's future remains unclear, while Lucas' agent claims a move to Old Trafford is off, meaning the Red Devils boss may have to keep fishing for a star signing this summer.
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Ferguson muscles in on Van Persie transfer saga

 

Robin van Persie’s potential Arsenal exit looks set to be the transfer saga of the summer, with Premier League champions Manchester City touted as the Dutchman’s most likely destination until recently.

On Friday, reports emerged that Juventus had told the striker of their desire to pair him with Liverpool’s Luis Suarez in Turin, with Sir Alex Ferguson also revealing that Manchester United had launched a bid to snatch the 29-year-old away from the Emirates.

While Arsene Wenger remains hopeful of keeping his star man, Sir Alex has moved to make sure he is in prime place to make a shock swoop for the striker…
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659 million can't be wrong

 

They were pipped to the Premier League title on the final day in dramatic circumstances, and dumped out of the Champions League at the group stages, but Manchester United are moving on from their trophyless season.
A market research survey yesterday claimed the Old Trafford club has a staggering 659 million fans globally - doubling their numbers from a similar study conducted in 2007.

It is a lofty claim, but if it is to be believed, Sir Alex Ferguson's side will surely be back among the silverware soon enough.
 

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A case of the Blues as Hazard plumps for Chelsea

 

After months of speculation, rumours and toying with Europe's top clubs, Eden Hazard finally put an end to one of the longest running transfer sagas in recent times by announcing he will join Chelsea.

Just a month ago the Belgian wizard had looked certain to move to Manchester from Lille, with both City and United battling it out to secure the 21-year-old's signature.

However, the Blues' dramatic victory in the Champions League final changed Hazard's mind one last time, with the continent's hottest property opting for a move to west London, leaving Roberto Mancini and Sir Alex Ferguson in a spin...

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