Deadline day and it's all quiet on the western front

 

While the end of a transfer window usually heralds a scramble for new players, it became apparent there neither Real Madrid nor Barcelona would make that critical signing to give their club the upper hand in the title race, Arsene Wenger (slightly less surprisingly) would not bring in the enforcements Arsenal needed, and Inter's shock defeat to Lecce did not prompt them to dip into the market. Instead, the deadline day fanatics had to make do with a few questionable loan deals ...

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No end in sight to Tevez's Man City transfer struggles

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Massimiliano Benassi

 

It seemed like a foregone conclusion. Inter had been on fire, winning their previous seven Serie A matches. 

Lecce found themselves at the other end of the table, but managed to exact revenge for their 4-1 trouncing at San Siro earlier in the season with a surprise 1-0 win over Claudio Ranieri's men. 

Serse Cosmi will have Massimiliano Benassi to thank, with the 30-year-old keeping Inter's all-star cast at bay for 90 minutes. 

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Dazzled David de Gea and Suarez

 

Manchester United goalkeeper David de Gea turned in another disappointing performance as the Red Devils suffered a 2-1 FA Cup defeat to Liverpool on Saturday.

And as he watched from the stands, Luis Suarez, who is currently serving an eight-match ban for racially abusing Patrice Evra, came up with the secret ingredient - a doughnut, for which De Gea is known to have a craving.

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#TwitterCensored

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Inside the mind of the Special One

 

Barcelona got one over Real Madrid once more in the Copa del Rey in midweek, much to Jose Mourinho's frustration. 

Refereeing decisions were again a point of contention for the Portuguese coach, whilst his spokesman Eladio Parames took his anger out on 'Donkey' Dani Alves....

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Bayern Munich's transfer 'bomb' backfires

 

On Thursday, Bayern Munich revealed that they were set to announce the signing of a "bomb" striker, leaving the football world on the edge of its collective seat. A variety of names were touted as potential arrivals, only for the Bavarians' official website to announce that it was the public - Bayern's 12th man, and they were simply seeking publicity.

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Sergio Ramos sees red for Real again

 

Real Madrid defender Sergio Ramos has been making the headlines lately, but for all the wrong reasons it seems. Following on from accusations of a bust-up with coach Jose Mourinho in the aftermath of the defeat to Barcelona in last week's Copa del Rey last-eight clash, he became a new record holder on Wednesday night - his dismissal for a raised arm on Sergio Busquets was his 13th red card for Los Blancos, beating one-time Madrid stalwart Fernando Hierro's previous high of 12. Unwanted or not, it's still a prize fit for a bull, right?

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Wenger changes send Van Persie packing

 

Robin van Persie was forced to take to Facebook on Tuesday to dispel rumours of a rift between himself and Arsene Wenger after the Dutchman was visibly flabbergasted on Sunday when his boss replaced Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain - Arsenal's best player on the day - with Andrey Arshavin, whose feeble defending cost his side the game. Could the 28-year-old be at the end of his tether in north London?

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Simply the Best (Del Piero)

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Bastian Schweinsteiger

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Maradona takes aim at his old rival Pele

 

The bitter feud between Diego Maradona and Pele only continues to escalate, and judging by the Argentine's latest comments, which include branding his arch rival a mere puppet to the Fifa family, before accusing him of being absent from civilisation for the past 20 years, it seems a reconciliation will never see the light of day.

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Super Mario keeps Man City riding high

 

'Super' Mario Balotelli emerged from the bench against Tottenham Hotspur and soon left his mark on the game: winning and scoring a 95th-minute penalty. 

However, Spurs boss Harry Redknapp was left fuming as he was adamant the Italian should have been sent off for a stamp on Scott Parker's head moments earlier.

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Boateng whipped out of shape

 

The girlfriend of AC Milan midfielder Kevin-Prince Boateng, Melissa Satta, has claimed that the couple's frisky sex life - where she "likes to take control" - is the real reason behind the player's recent injury troubles, after the Rossoneri ruled the 24-year-old out for four weeks with a 'muscular problem'.

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Wikipedia I love you

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Can money make Drogba's world go round?

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PSG drawn towards Paolo Maldini

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Abramovich adds another pawn to his chessboard

 

There seems no stopping Andre Villas-Boas and his rebuilding plans at Chelsea, as the arrival of Gary Cahill is likely to be the first of many through the revolving door.

However, the manager's policy of squad rotation and the disposal of several experienced heads from the team has made for an uncertain state of affairs - almost as much so as David Luiz's defending.

The ruthless style exhibited by the 34-year-old gaffer sees the Brazilian stopper likely to become the sacrificial lamb, while Frank Lampard remains in the cold despite his recent goalscoring form.

But chairman Roman Abramovich has come up with a solution - treat the game as a chess board!

Enter Ashley Cole as the queen, John Terry as the king and an unhappy Lampard as a ... rook? Told you it was confusing - and that's not even taking into account the conundrum involving Didier Drogba or Fernando Torres. 
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Pepe's madness hits Mourinho where it hurts

 

Pepe was the villain for Jose Mourinho as his play-acting and perseverance in his attempts to injure Lionel Messi only hampered Real Madrid's chances of retaining the Copa del Rey, as they went down 2-1 to Barcelona in the quarter-final first leg.

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AC Milan bring back the wrong Merkel

 

AC Milan owner Silvio Berlusconi will recognise the name of his side's latest signing, but will be relieved it is Alexander Merkel and not Angela coming to bail him and his team out.

The former Italian prime minister had economic problems in his political career, which were addressed and aided by the German chancellor.

On this occasion, however, a 19-year-old playmaker has been drafted back to the Giuseppe Meazza on a loan deal to help with a crisis on the pitch.

Merkel will act as much-needed midfield cover for injured pair Gennaro Gattuso and Alberto Aquilani, and may find himself featuring for the Scudetto holders regularly as Kevin Prince-Boateng has also picked up a knock.

Unlucky Angela, there's always the summer transfer window ...

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