Boateng whipped out of shape

 

The girlfriend of AC Milan midfielder Kevin-Prince Boateng, Melissa Satta, has claimed that the couple's frisky sex life - where she "likes to take control" - is the real reason behind the player's recent injury troubles, after the Rossoneri ruled the 24-year-old out for four weeks with a 'muscular problem'.

Tweet Follow @omomani

Wikipedia I love you

Tweet Follow @omomani

Can money make Drogba's world go round?

Tweet Follow @omomani

PSG drawn towards Paolo Maldini

Tweet Follow @omomani

Abramovich adds another pawn to his chessboard

 

There seems no stopping Andre Villas-Boas and his rebuilding plans at Chelsea, as the arrival of Gary Cahill is likely to be the first of many through the revolving door.

However, the manager's policy of squad rotation and the disposal of several experienced heads from the team has made for an uncertain state of affairs - almost as much so as David Luiz's defending.

The ruthless style exhibited by the 34-year-old gaffer sees the Brazilian stopper likely to become the sacrificial lamb, while Frank Lampard remains in the cold despite his recent goalscoring form.

But chairman Roman Abramovich has come up with a solution - treat the game as a chess board!

Enter Ashley Cole as the queen, John Terry as the king and an unhappy Lampard as a ... rook? Told you it was confusing - and that's not even taking into account the conundrum involving Didier Drogba or Fernando Torres. 
Tweet Follow @omomani

Pepe's madness hits Mourinho where it hurts

 

Pepe was the villain for Jose Mourinho as his play-acting and perseverance in his attempts to injure Lionel Messi only hampered Real Madrid's chances of retaining the Copa del Rey, as they went down 2-1 to Barcelona in the quarter-final first leg.

Tweet Follow @omomani

AC Milan bring back the wrong Merkel

 

AC Milan owner Silvio Berlusconi will recognise the name of his side's latest signing, but will be relieved it is Alexander Merkel and not Angela coming to bail him and his team out.

The former Italian prime minister had economic problems in his political career, which were addressed and aided by the German chancellor.

On this occasion, however, a 19-year-old playmaker has been drafted back to the Giuseppe Meazza on a loan deal to help with a crisis on the pitch.

Merkel will act as much-needed midfield cover for injured pair Gennaro Gattuso and Alberto Aquilani, and may find himself featuring for the Scudetto holders regularly as Kevin Prince-Boateng has also picked up a knock.

Unlucky Angela, there's always the summer transfer window ...

Tweet Follow @omomani

Evergreen Javier Zanetti's secret to beating AC Milan

Tweet Follow @omomani

Guardiola's jar of players bordering on empty

 

There must be another attacker in there somewhere... somewhere... 

Barcelona boss Pep Guardiola might have scooped up the Coach of the Year award at the 2011 Fifa Ballon d'Or Gala in Zurich last week, but the Catalan trainer has little reason for optimism at the moment.

After previous injuries to Ibrahim Afellay and David Villa, the Blaugrana also lost Pedro and Andreu Fontas due to various physical problems last week.

Additionally, Brazilian full-back Maxwell left the club for Paris Saint-Germain earlier in the week, while Seydou Keita has been included in Mali's 2012 Afcon squad.

This has left Guardiola with selection problems ahead of Sunday's away game against Betis and the 40-year-old has to dig deep to find 11 players... 

Tweet Follow @omomani

Di Stefano leads Cristiano Ronaldo boo brigade

Tweet Follow @omomani